Survival to Peace

I was born in 1977 in Juba, South Sudan. When I was four months old, my mother passed away. My dad remarried and my stepmom raised me. At that time, we were living in a compound which consisted of small rooms. My parents slept in a different room than us children. The war broke out between the central Sudanese government and the Sudan People's Liberation army when I was six. It continued from 1983 - 2005. We were very poor. Our family's garden had been burned and we had no food. I remember my mom would take leaves from the tree in the compound and taste them to see if they were too bitter, if they weren't, she would pick them, cook them and feed them to us. One night in November of 1989, as we were all asleep, a bomb landed in my parents' room in the compound, and they were both killed. Myself (11), my brother (15), and my two younger sisters (5 and 9) were left as orphans. I had two sets of clothing; when the one set was dirty, I would wash them in the river and hang them to dry on the trees. We had no soap, so we washed the clothes with the roots of the trees. While the clothes were drying, we stayed in the river. If our underwear was worn out, we would use a knife and cut the sleeves of our shirts to make some. We survived on beans. No salt, no oil. We just cooked beans over a fire. That was our survival.

In 1990, my uncle came to the village and brought us to his home. In 1996 I got married and when I was eighteen, I had my first daughter. I thought that when I got married, that life would be good, but it wasn't. I fell extremely ill and moved into brother's house. Back then, all the pain from all the years came together - I lived in the darkness of my pain. But the good news is, that even then, I knew the Lord, that He was there for me in all my pain. My prayer everyday was the same - "Lord I have chosen, but I know that this is not what You have chosen for me, so I will wait for the one You choose for me." Working three years in the local Town Office as a messenger, delivering papers from office to office. The secret agents were suspicious of me that I was delivering papers to the rebels. They took me to their office and questioned me. I was afraid they’d follow me to my brother's house and cause him trouble, so I decided to flee with my daughter to Egypt in 2003. Egypt was the beginning of my peace. There I met my husband; we got married in July of 2003. Unbeknownst to me, my husband was already in the process of sponsorship to come to Canada! Moving to Canada was a big change. I didn't speak English, but I made friends and they showed love, and helped me learn the language and culture. I've been blessed with three more kids. I feel the light now in my life. The beautiful Bulkley Valley is the place where I found the peace my heart so desperately needed.