Malibu

It’s a sad thing when sudden death becomes something you’re used to, but tragedy seems to follow my family. After we both experienced losing immediate family members prematurely, my cousin became more like my sister. My own parents were estranged and dealing with their own grief, so my aunt had kind of taken me under her wing as well throughout covid. And then suddenly even that was gone. It was a freak accident in the light of day and in a split second my cousin lost her mom, the most precious thing to her in the world and the last of her immediate family. It’s impossible to describe these things, but if you’ve gone through it you know the depths of hell you find yourself in. Breathing is hard, eating is impossible, sleep is foreign. I was both in it and watching it play out yet again. My cousin has been through more than anyone should go through at any age. She’s the most resilient person I’ve ever met, but even that is another tragedy. At the funeral home I made promises to my aunt and keeping those promises is one of my main purposes in this life. About 6 months after the accident, we planned a trip to California. We knew it would be weird, emotional, and far from the usual vacation, but we accepted it for what it was. And it was all of those things. On one of our last days we ventured out to Malibu to sit on the beach and try to get a tan. It was a bit cold and windy, but it was better than Canada. Whilst watching the waves, suddenly she pointed and squealed that there were dolphins. We watched them popping up every few seconds and she was so excited to see them that she almost cried. She actually smiled. It’s a moment imprinted in my psyche, and I felt like I had kept one of my promises, even just a little bit.